Tales From The Kill Cliff Granite Games
Since CrossFit was my introduction to the world of strength and fitness, I was really interested in checking out the Kill Cliff Granite Games in Saint Cloud, MN. All those fit people doing all those fitness things with all their fitness, and only a 4 hour drive away... I couldn't pass it up. I made the trip and figured I'd at least get to see one day of action.
First things first... Was there actually a Saint named Cloud? I was skeptical. But apparently there was a St. Clodoald, who I assume got sick of people always screwing up his name at Starbucks and just boiled it down to Cloud. Sounds plausible.
The events were pretty cool, but since I showed up in the middle of the weekend, and didn't finish, I'll leave the actual event coverage to the professionals at FloElite.com . Click HERE for links to their coverage. I was there to just enjoy the day, and maybe see some exceptional CrossFit athletes. I'm always impressed by how much top-level strength some of these athletes have, especially since some of them are a lot smaller than they look on TV. Last year at the Arnold, I was shocked at how regular-sized Mat Fraser, Dan Bailey, and Josh Bridges were (No offense, guys). Since that day, I always assumed most of these guys were about that size.
To make matters worse, not a single vendor I had asked brought any 2XL t-shirts. Fortunately, the Invictus booth had a couple on hand and they hooked it up for a big guy... Props to Invictus. Until they saved the day I was sure I was gonna get run out of here for having too much Mass and no souvenirs. I felt all alone in my hugeness.
Then I saw Ron Ortiz.
Ron is a Master's athlete.
Ron is 50+years old.
Ron is about 6'4".
Ron is also a goddamn truck.
At this point, I knew 4 things:
1. I was still definitely the biggest person here
2. Ron Ortiz was second
3. Ron Ortiz does not look like your average 50+ year old man
4. I want to look like Ron Ortiz
A while later, I ran into Mike McGoldrick from Barbell Shrugged...
I watched a little more fitness, and then ran into Brooke Wells. I tried my best not to make it an awkward fanboy situation. But basically, I was like a 12 year old boy. I took the picture, and ran the hell away.... #silkysmooth
The rest of the day was filled with fitness stuff... People pushing sleds, running, lifting barbells and walking on their hands... It all looked super, super-hard. And confirmed my suspicion that I'm definitely #toohugeforfitness. But I just might have to put a team together for next year.