33 Things I Learned After Getting Off My Ass And Losing 60lbs


I peeled my 350lb ass off the couch a year ago and decided to try and do something with myself. Though I’m not quite jacked and tan yet, here’s some things I learned along the way:


1. You should probably be lifting things that are heavy for you... I did the treadmill and elliptical thing.. They’re boring, they’re definitely not for me, and they’re not near as effective as resistance training for burning calories. More muscle = more calories burned

It’s math….. Or science… or both, I guess.

Pro Tip: Try your best not to shit your pants when lifting heavy. #fundamentals

Pro Tip: Try your best not to shit your pants when lifting heavy. #fundamentals


2. Everybody thinks their training methodology is the best... The truth is, whatever is fun and effective enough for you to stick with is the best for YOU. But you should definitely get out of your comfort zone and try some new things.


3. Carbs aren't the devil, but without them, I might be... Trying to fuel workouts without carbs made me feel crabby, sluggish, and mentally beat down. Adding carbs back made me hella farty for a week or so. But everything else got way better.


4. Everybody wants the fast and easy path... Look at the advertisements you see online: “Miracle weight loss pill”, “Get Jacked without going to the gym”, “lose 60lbs in 6 weeks”.. They’re everywhere, and they’re bullshit. You won’t keep it unless you earn it. It’s the same reason lottery winners all end up broke.


5. Building muscle and burning fat is dependent upon your performance in the gym and your recovery. See #6


6. Performance and recovery are fueled exclusively by nutrition…


7. Eating fat won't make you fat... For the same reasons that eating chicken won’t make you grow feathers. That’s just not the way it works.

We talk about how we eat in The Massenomics Podcast series "Do You Even Eat, Bro?" Click HERE to listen to Part 1 ..... Click HERE for Part 2....... aaaaaand click HERE for Part 3.


8. Women seem to be afraid of getting bulky... I am the millionth person to say this, but you won’t get bulky. I promise. It’s really really hard to do. Don’t think you’re the one person that’s going to ACCIDENTALLY get super-jacked.

In this video, Professor Schanz goes in-depth to prove that females are not at risk for turning into a man if they pick up a weight heavier than a pink dumbbell.


9. It’s best to get used to working hard... Making hard work a habit is the greatest skill I’ve ever learned. Get good at it. It's the key to everything.


10. It's not all or nothing… You can still have pizza and ice cream and beer and fried foods and chicken wings and beer and cheeseburgers and brownies and beer and bread and beer and beer. Just not all the time.

All the finest beers are imported from Canada and are consumed on my roof.

All the finest beers are imported from Canada and are consumed on my roof.


11. Loving yourself means taking care of yourself... Part of “loving your body the way it is” is wanting to be as healthy as possible. That means constantly trying to get better. It's not all about vanity. It's just MOSTLY about vanity!


12. Some people genuinely want to help you… Let them.


13. Other people want to help you AND sell you stuff… Tread carefully.


14. Other people only want to sell you stuff... Those people are dicks.


15. Instagram has millions of fitness, healthcoaching, and transformation accounts... And somehow they have a ridiculous amount of followers. And 90% of them have no substance and just high-five each other all day long.


16. You don’t have to be hungry to lose weight… I eat more now than when I was 60lbs heavier. I just eat better food.

One of my preworkout breakfasts. No joke. This happens all the time.

One of my preworkout breakfasts. No joke. This happens all the time.


17. I’ve made lots of new friends… It's amazing the people you meet when you’re not too cool to be enthusiastic about something.

    In our blog post "Assembling a Juggernaut" (Click to read), I talk about how this brought me into the world of Massenomics.

18. My wardrobe is now 80% gym clothes...  I hope nobody dies or gets married soon, because my old suits don't fit and I'm still too huge for a store-bought suit.

     In the meantime, I'll just keep buying my gym clothes HERE in the Massenomics Online Store.... And you should too.

19. Posting pictures and videos about your workouts on social media makes them 20% more effective... It’s science.


20. Before and after pictures can be misleading… Especially if the source is selling something.

#dedication #relentless

#dedication #relentless


21. Hashtagging an Instagram post #fitness, #crossfit, or #bodybuilding will automatically get you lots of likes and follows… Mostly from bots or lovely ladies who either want to help you get millions of followers today, or really need you to “click link in bio for hot American sexy time”.


22. Don’t believe everything you see on Instagram. Unless it’s @Massenomics. That shit is legit…  There is an epidemic of photoshopped photos in the Instagram fitness world. Apparently people actually use photoshop to enlarge their biceps and booty, then slim up their waistline before putting them on Instagram.. And I still don’t know the difference between Instagram’s Structure and Sharpen features. #oldmanproblems


23. People who don’t exercise will tell you why they can’t… Or how they used to.. Or how they want to..  Or how you shouldn’t...


24. People who don’t eat clean will comment on your healthy food…  Bring pizza and pop to work, nobody says a word. Bring chicken and rice and vegetables and everybody’s got something to say.


25. I don’t need to spend a fortune on protein powder… Initially, I spent a fortune on protein.. Tons of protein. But I still felt like I was hungry. Then I realized that I was better off replacing my protein shakes with more actual food. No more hunger, all the same gainz.


26. Eating clean doesn’t have to cost a fortune… For the first 90 days, our family of 3 spent $1500 a month on groceries. It was insane. I was trying to make unique meals each meal, each day. Now I’ve settled into some repetition that works for us and is sustainable. Chicken breasts are cheap, and so is rice, frozen vegetables, potatoes, and eggs. Now we spend less than $600/month, and still allow ourselves some luxury foods as well. #fancycheese


27. No product will get you healthier on its own… You actually have to try. No pill, patch, or shake is gonna get you jacked without any work on your part....

.....unless you've got that Captain America serum. #gimmethatjuice

.....unless you've got that Captain America serum. #gimmethatjuice


28. A mindset change is required… You have to stop identifying as the big old fat person who can eat more than anyone else in the room. If you want to look and feel like a strong, fit person, start by eating/sleeping/training with the habits that you think a strong, fit person will have. This will automatically put you on that path. It’s actually quite simple. Just BE that person.

     You can read more about this HERE in our blog post "Burn The Questions." Check it out.


29. It’s impossible to buy a jumbo can of tuna (the 4 pound can) without some sort of commentary from the cashier…  Seriously.... Every. Single. Time. It never fails, and it’s a ridiculous conversation:

  Cashier: “Geez, what are you gonna do with all that tuna?”

  Me: “Well, I’m probably just gonna eat it….. With my mouth.”




-End of conversation


30. Grocery stores are way better really early in the morning… I almost didn't want to give this tip away, so if you live in my area please disregard it. If you show up to your grocery store by 7 am on Saturdays you almost never have to wait in line to check out. Also, that's when most stores have their meat items marked down for quick sale, and beating the crowd allows me to save a fortune by buying my meat in bulk when it's marked down or on sale.


31. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be boring, but you still probably aren’t going to eat like a King/Queen as often as you’d like…  Get over yourself, King Arthur. You’re not going to have 7 course gourmet meals every day. Get used to some basic meats, veggies, and carb sources. You don’t deserve to eat like a king all the time. Some meals will be boring, and not every meal is going to be as exciting and flavorful as Pizza Rolls dipped in Ranch Dressing.


32. If you want it bad enough, you’ll make the time for it… Whether it’s cooking food, going to the gym, or just eating at home instead of going out to eat, you’ll make time if it’s important to you. You can either make an excuse, or give yourself a reason. It’s up to you.


33. Immersing yourself in the subjects that interest you will keep you interested, and keep you on track… I spend my time listening to podcasts, reading articles, and watching videos on weightlifting, training, and nutrition. It keeps the subjects in the front of mind, and makes me really look forward to getting to the gym every day. Massenomics has all of these things. Get yourself some.


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