Life Hack: Perfect Your Coffee Drinking

Percentage of U.S. population that is communist

Over 80% of the US adult population consumes the divine nectar of the gods known as coffee. With good reason too, as coffee is freaking awesome. In fact, if you don’t like coffee, you are probably a communist (citation needed). So, coffee is awesome and all these people drink it, but what if everyone is drinking it wrong?

Drinking it wrong? How is that even possible? You open your mouth, hot fluid goes down your throat and you swallow. Then the camera man yells “Cut!” and you are handed more lubricant for the next scene. Oh shit, we were talking about coffee, weren’t we?

Well, I don’t mean that people are mechanically drinking it wrong, like trying to chew their liquid coffee as it spills out the side of their mouth and the barista asks if they need a napkin and a helmet. I mean the common practice of waking up and having a cup of coffee right away, or shortly after. I have a feeling that a lot of you reading this right now probably have your first cup within 30 minutes of waking up. I also have a feeling that most of you are up before 7:30-8:00am in the morning.

This presents a problem. See, your body has its own mechanism of waking up using this nifty little hormone called cortisol. Cortisol starts to rise during the early hours of the morning with its peak levels coming between 8:00am – 8:30am. After this peak, cortisol levels take a steep drop and then steadily decline until they reach a low around midnight.

So, what the hell does this have to do with drinking coffee? Well, cortisol essentially acts as a stimulant just like coffee; it perks you up and mobilizes energy substrates within your body to get you functioning. Drinking coffee and the caffeine it contains during peak cortisol hours can actually blunt cortisol’s effectiveness as its own stimulant. Meaning, the effects of cortisol are less if you are consuming coffee (or caffeine) during peak levels. Instead of acting synergistically and getting you so amped up that you can smell colors, coffee and cortisol actually work against one another.

This may cause you to actually need more coffee throughout your day as you are not getting all the stimulatory effects from cortisol you normally would. How can you harness the natural power of your body’s cortisol production and the energy promoting effects of coffee without pitting them against one another? Simple, just drink your coffee later in the morning. If cortisol levels peak around 8:00am- 8:30am and fall of sharply after that, you can start consuming your coffee at 9:00am – 9:30am and not interfere with your body’s cortisol as much. In fact, the 9:00am – 11:30am window is perfect for coffee because cortisol also has a slight increase around the noon hour to help power you through your afternoon.

Make sure you aren't also wearing shirts and hats wrong. Snag some of ours just to be safe.

Make sure you aren't also wearing shirts and hats wrong. Snag some of ours just to be safe.

So, to recap, the Massenomics ideal coffee morning would look like this:

5am – 7am: Wake up (cortisol levels are rising). Also, if you wake up before 5am may God have mercy on your soul.

8:00am – 8:30am: Entertain self with Massenomics related content (peak cortisol levels)
Click HERE to get smarter.

9:00am – 11:30am: Consume coffee. Super, mega, ultra, productive time results (diminishing cortisol levels)

Noon: Lunch (brief increase in cortisol levels)

Rest of the day: Entertain self with Massenomics related content (ride out lingering cortisol and coffee effects) Click HERE to look super cool while you catch up on content.

It’s really pretty easy to give this hack a try. Literally, just drink your coffee after 9:00am and see if you feel better stimulated. That’s it. Easier than getting a vegan to tell you about their superior lifestyle choices.

It’s science, it’s Massenomics.

*This topic was discussed in detail by the Massenomics crew in Episode 10 of the podcast.  Click HERE to give it a listen.  You can either laugh along with us, or at us... either way we will just be excited that you listened.